1: a slowing or stoppage of the normal flow of a bodily fluid or semifluid: as a : slowing of the current of circulating blood b : reduced motility of the intestines with retention of feces
2a : a state of static balance or equilibrium : stagnation b : a state or period of stability during which little or no evolutionary change in a lineage occurs
from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary
the word "stasis" popped into my head as i was driving home last night. i was thinking about my frustration and deepening depression associated with the glacial like pace at which any progress on much of anything in my life seems to be proceeding. though i've included the various definitions of "stasis" above, fans of science fiction will also be aware that this word is at times used to describe a state of suspended animation in which characters are placed to allow them to survive deep space travel or be protected from some illness until a cure is discovered.
this feeling of being in a suspended sleep was quite pervasive yesterday. as the day went on it was almost as if i could feel cryogenic fluid being pumped into my veins, coarsing through my limbs, filling my lungs and stilling my heart. it's not an unusual feeling and certainly not unprecedented for my times of depression. this chilling numbness usually results in my becoming quite closed off to my own feelings and likely the feelings of other. i become somewhat uncaring about what is and is to come. my wit becomes quicker, my sarcasm more biting, and my tongue (or keyboard) sharper. i try to be careful when i am in this state, so that any wound i might inflict is as stinging as the faintest paper cut. usually i succeed and elicit more laughter than injury. but sometimes i cut deeper and if not careful i go to the bone.
hopefully, no such damage occurred last night during the course of my various discourses. in any event the freezing fluid that seemed to fill me yesterday, began seeping out very slowly through my tear ducts over the course of the evening and continued upon my waking this morning. now, i feel and what i'm feeling is not great. as as result, i'm questioning which state i prefer. maybe it's time for a refill.
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