these are not times

so here's another song. as has been pretty obvious from previous postings, i've been listening to a lot of alanis over the past few months. this is a song i've been wanting to post for some time, but each time i would start to do so, i would feel like while the tone fit, the lyrics seemed to give the wrong overall message. after all this is a song about someone missing elements of her last relationship, and that has not been the place i have been in at all (now if it were a song about regretting having ever been in the previous relationship then that would be spot on).

the lyrics that have certainly resonated with me have been the following from the chorus:

these are not times for the weak of heart
these are the days of raw despondence

tonight, however, i had a different vision of the song. what if i viewed it from the lens of the song i am only one with its lament of "a love i never had"? in this light, the song became for me not about being saddened about having lost a love but instead being heart broken of having to let go of a dream of what love could be in my life.

i guess that train of thought goes well with yesterday's entry about my not being sure what i really want when it comes to love and relationship. maybe my experience with michael and all the time i feel i've lost have gotten me to the place that i don't believe what i hoped could be in my life is possible anymore. if that is the case, then the song does indeed fit now, and i truly never dreamed that i would have to lay down my torch like this.

torch - alanis morissette