so earlier in the evening i heard this song and after the first lyrics i thought, "i suppose this is how men likely see me." it's a song that will be familiar to most about one man's reaction to a toxic relationship the problems of which are rooted in the brokenness of the man's partner.
its so funny, that this week was supposed to be about my claiming a vision of myself that there was nothing wrong with me and instead it has been all about feeling that i am fundamentally flawed and there is no escaping that reality for me. and now i am just mired in the feeling that i am truly done with hoping that any man will ever see me as someone worthy of investing in any kind of relationship with.
so as the dark shadows continue their nightly ritual to lay claim of my soul, making me wish for sweet oblivion, here's tonight's song.
barely breathing - duncan sheik
marin mazzie - back to before (ragtime) July 4, 1998
ii was reminded of this performance tonight and wanted to share it here as a tribute to a phenomenal talent who left us way too soon.
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