imagine

imagine what it would be like to wake up every day and wish that you didn't have to get out of bed.

imagine a day that felt as if every waking moment were filled with pushing away doubts about who you are and everything you want to be true -- every moment seeming to be a struggle to believe that you are worthwhile, that you are valued, that you are loved.

imagine a time when you so yearn for human connection that it seems like every second is filled with anticipation of a text, an instant message, or daydreams of what it would be like to spend time with someone special.

imagine the feeling of a sadness that is so palpable and overwhelming that it casts its shadow over everything you see and experience, causing you to question if there is any light or joy left in the world for you.

imagine how it feels to recognize that likely a good deal of the emotional pain you are experiencing is not about the situations themselves but is rather the result of your being betrayed by the chemicals in your brain.

imagine feeling that you are slowly descending into a kind of madness that will rob you of anything positive that remains in your life.

imagine having all of this trapped inside of you and feeling that no one sees you in your pain, no one hears the deafening screams of anguish that make you feel as if your head were about to explode, and no one cares what becomes of you as a result.

imagine the weariness that this kind of life experience brings to daily existence -- a fatigue that causes you at the end of each and every day to wonder how, if or even why you would want to continue living.

think about how blessed you are if what is written here is restricted to the realm of your imagination.

some of us aren't so fortunate.