yesterday, i had a pretty good day. i had reconnected with a truth and that occurrence brought a new perspective on how i viewed my life. i moved from feeling that my life was hopeless to recognizing that life always has an inherent potential to get better. and with that i felt a new energy and a kind of calm rested in my spirit. that was yesterday.
today, after a fitful sleep, i awoke feeling a little less than good (maybe more than just a little). it came down to what i shared with a friend of "having a case of the 'lonelies'."even with this experience of hurt over the feeling of being alone, i would have to admit that today was still a pretty good day. i guess it's because i've also realized that i need to make peace with the sadness.
what does that mean? well, over the course of the day, i realized that even with a different outlook on life, the actual present circumstances of my life have not changed. desiring to have significant meaning and connection in this world is intrinsic to the human condition. to be sad when you don't have that as a significant part of your life is normal. combine that reality with the fact that my depression is as much biological in nature as it is circumstantial, i see that my experience with deep moments of sadness are going to remain with me for some time to come.
i just pray that i can keep close to heart the epiphany with which i opened this blog entry. life always has an inherent potential to get better -- even my life.
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